Advise from the principal (Ms White):
While children are dogs, loyal and affectionate – about the time children begin to get close to their teens, many dogs begin to turn into cats. Raising a dog is easier than raising a cat in many ways. Dogs are generally enthusiastic to see you. They want to be near you and they often gaze at you in an admiring way. A cat on the other hand often times disappears into a room for long lengths of time until it gets hungry. Being affectionate is on its terms and the stare it gives you sometimes appears to be blank as if it is trying to remember where it has seen you before.
It is at this point, instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you need to behave like a cat owner. Put the food out and let it come to you. Remember that a cat needs your help and affection too. Sit still and it will like that warm comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to give it the attention it needs when it comes to you. Don’t force yourself on the cat, you’ll likely get your feelings scratched.
It is during this time in your parenting that you will be the most challenged. You may ask yourself, who is this child? You might even feel unloved and unappreciated. It is important to stay strong throughout these years. This is not the time to try making peace by becoming permissive in order to not feel like the enemy. It is also important during these years to try to not allow yourself to pulled into dramatic disagreements that can sometimes happen when you live with a teen. Be consistent and matter of fact with your parenting. Stay calm, stay strong, and stay in the parenting role.
One day, just as quickly as your dog became a cat, your cat will become a dog again. I wish I could tell you that the transition between the two is short. Unfortunately, the transition can take many years. This could be the most challenging period of your parenting. Try not to take the cat behaviors too personally. Just remember . . . You can’t treat a cat like a dog or a dog like a cat.
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